This Teen of the 80s is SUFFERING.

This HURTS me.  

This is a Polyvore outfit being currently suggested on a fashion blog as great for a woman to wear this year. 

Do you know what part hurts? 

(I can hear many women replying, "The high heels!!" Well, yes, but no).

BLACK SHOES BROWN PURSE.  My cellular fashion programming is shouting "You're doing it wrong!" 

I know, matching is out of date. I heard; I got the memo. Listen, I'm not trying to turn the tide back to how it was, I just have to share how DIFFICULT it is for me to wrap my head around this being a "thing" now. 

Follow my logic: In women's fashion history here in western world, those of us that were teens and pre-teens in the 80s were the LAST DECADE to have it drilled into us that accessories must MATCH. 

FASHION LAW STATES:

BLACK SHOES BLACK PURSE.  

BROWN SHOES BROWN PURSE.

(belt, etc. succumbs accordingly)

The law must be so for professional outfits,

dressy outfits,

and casual outfits.

Additionally, it must be so for work-out outfits - 
leg warmers must match leotard and headband.

Actually, leg warmers must match any hair accessory.

As a matter of fact, this photo just sums up fashion law nicely - 
"IF YOU WEAR IT, IT MUST MATCH":

To build my case for empathy, realize that not only was this fashion law drilled into us by both fashion marketing and peer pressure, it was passed to us from the generation of women before us (proof, from the 60s):

And guess what?! It's practically genetically infused in us 80s teens! Our grandmothers had the SAME LAW, and you know it extends back further pre-colored photography into history! 

Look at this, original from WWII in the 40s (snappy croc on croc):

My theory is that this recent deconstruction of Fashion Law tipped with grunge. Grunge mostly followed Fashion Law of matching of accessories (mostly because everything was black or faded black - grungy). Grunge cracked open the door of fashion pandemonium by encouraging random chunky footwear with otherwise "cute" skirts and dresses:

I believe this grunge photo layout from a magazine might be fashion archaeology's "missing link" - the moment of slippage from Fashion Law. Look - the purse and shoes don't match! However, it is merely the seeds of the end of Fashion Law, not the full breaking point, as the purse and bag DO both still match the outfit itself, burgundy and black:

Since then all fashion law hell has broken loose in the fashion gene pool (giant Uggs, zebra, pink, skull, showing pockets, OMG it's all swirling and burning in my eyes):

So to those of you gals that didn't become a pre-teen until post-grunge, be patient with us PGs (pre-grunges). Now you know - your fashion elders are fighting against multiple generations of genetic programming. 

This, this outfit here, just HURTS ME CELLULARLY --

WHY. DID. THEY. COMBINE...     AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

.

Okay, quick P.S. to my pain. The shorts above reminded me. Currently there's the ripped jean "thing." Why is it a "thing?" I'm not even complaining that it's a thing now. I just DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. I really mean it as a question - WHY??!. 

I was trained that ripped jeans are only for painting or yard work. If I had come home with my jeans looking like this, I'd have been in trouble for "ruining a good pair of pants!" 

The "About Me" Box

I really despise the "About Me" section. Anywhere. EVERYTHING sounds cliche in 300 words of less. I'm 46, I've had a very BUSY life. What the hell am I supposed to say that conveys anything substantial? 

I make keyword notes from the heart, which are obviously in that moment what is foremost as "what I'm about" (read "mood del momento").  I review it, as objectively as possible. It makes ME eyeroll, and my own head provides commentary. 

"Go deeper, you sound cliche." 

"Go more superficial, you sound too deep." 

"Keep it simple." Hey! I like that!  "...but not too simple, or you look like you're trying to be too deep, like a living haiku." DAMMIT. 

The ability to self-reflect is our advantage over "the beasts." But I KNOW my dog didn't struggle with how others would perceive her in the About Me section, she just wanted to go for a walk, again.

I'm just WEIRD. I'm not dissing myself when I say that, I mean unique. If I met me, I'd be like, "OMG, we need to know each other, you're AWESOME!" 

Areas of interest and/or knowledge:

Personal development

Mensa intelligence / Precocity

Addiction education

The 12 Steps

"Recovery" from stuff, like codependency, physical & sexual abuse, food obsession, "relationship addiction"

The Matrix - red pill

Incredible customer service

Best practices in business

Process Improvement / 6 Sigma-type analysis 

Professional organization, sorting

Quantum physics and the application on the true power we possess (Jedi)

Helping others

Animal rescue

The art of seduction

Goats ... I'm crazy about goats (tag me on their cute videos, please)

Energy healing
Whole-istic wellness, essential oils, homeopathy, the healing properties of food

Humane treatment of animals
Humane treatment of people
Nutrition / label-reading

Type 1 Diabetes management

Mind/body connection

Cooking: Extremely healthy cooking while making it taste amazing

The Language of All Things Good: A personal 25-year study of the similarities religions, ancient wisdom teachings, science, "new-age" approach, therapeutic models, self-help and philosophy all say the SAME THINGS in different words / "languages" ... (REALLY, SAME MESSAGE, FOLKS) 
Numerology, yes I actually know how to work it at a deep level

The power of prayer/positive thinking/belief, as actually instructed to use it by our greatest teachers like Jesus

Applied Kinesiology (muscle testing)

Passionate Parenthood - WAKE UP, what we do with/to/around them is DEVELOPING HUMANS that will impact generations for better or worse!

Quantum Physics

Weather ... I'm kind of obsessed with weather.

Law of Attraction

Financial wealth principles

Sink holes ... I'm kind of obsessed with those too.

Communication / Conflict Resolution

Travel - EVERY aspect of it, I research it in great depth - packing, locations, best experiences, tips for ease, tips for flight deals, ...

Photography, both SLR skills & professional editing

Stock photography guidelines & sales

Mimicking voices, accents & noises

Exploring interesting non-chain restaurants and shops around the world

Women gracefully supporting each other

Shopping at Trader Joe's

HUMOR

Blaming all mysterious injuries on Alien Abduction (it makes me laugh)

World music
Shoes with ankle straps

Any kind of dancing, I LOVE dancing

Bargain shopping, for the thrill of paying or obtaining "not retail"

Playing board games
Walking/Hiking in interesting or pretty places

Contemplating Writing

Contemplating writing. I have bumped into a few of my writings lately cleaning out files. I read it with my usual feeling I get of, "I WROTE this??"  All my life, when writing, stuff comes out that I have no recollection of. I work the words until they match the images in my mind, and then it's "perfect" and I'm done. I guess like how composers get the music down on paper? (Disclaimer: I don't compose music. AT ALL).

Blogs are many things. There's a lot of "advice" about them from "experts." But advice can only be given with the end in mind. Profit? Recognition? Brand-building? Soap boxing? How about Pure Joy? I'm going to Google that ... (2 mins later)... Hm, very, very little comes up in the search "Blogging for Pure Joy."

In English class, they called it "voice." What "voice" is the "piece" written in? Who's talking? Who is the voice talking TO? .... which leads to "...will anyone listen?" What if they won't? Will I care? Can I take my own mental commentary about how that potentially reflects my worth as a human being? I could lock it down, and write only FOR ME. Abe says do things just for the joy of it.

And so I turn my attention beyond my own thoughts and ASK (...and it is given, ha ha)

J. But what to write about?
A. "Whatever I want."
J. But where to put it?
A. Out there.
J. But what's the Bucket?
A. YOU
J. But .... but ....
A."You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." (the quote is read in The Secret)
J. I don't feel qualified.
A. To be you?
J. No, to post it on the internet.
A. Idiots post to the internet, don't sweat it.
J. But what if they SEE me?
A. Right. What if they SEE you and your decades of thinking / processing / functioning OUT OF THE BOX and why things go so well for you... You say your son is a social experiment in raising a human being by simply doing one's best to get out of it's way, while keeping it safe from harm and modeling how to get along here on Earth. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU'RE THE PREQUEL (sequel... prequel...)
J. Nailed.
...................................
J. OK but I get tired of my own wordiness sometimes. I enjoy the pouring out of it all, but it becomes tedious to sift back through it. Certainly if I do, others will too.
A. What do you enjoy? (about reading my own writing)
J. The Clarity. The timing, the wit. The keen observations - ooh that's cliche - the sharp focus on something not previously distinguished that way.
A. So... the Clarity. The Clarity of something that came into focus in a way that only you have expressed quite like it ever before.
J. Nailed. I HEAR the value.
A. Yup.

J. So DefensiveDressing.com is a good place for this?
A. Well sure... your favorite paleo recipe girl Mel posts paleo-world famous stuff to something called, "The Clothes Make the Girl"
J. Hm. Right-o.
A. Don't overthink it.
..................................

J. So what do I post? I "hid" the previous ones, except how the blog was born.
A. This.

Vampire Repellent Soup Recipe - My EPIC FAIL

I just warmed up a bowl of "Silky Gingered Zucchini Soup" from Mel's The Clothes Make the Girl blog http://theclothesmak...-zucchini-soup/, and I am laughing at myself. It tastes RIDICULOUS, it SCREAMS of garlic. NOT MEL'S FAULT!!!

The recipe calls for "4 large cloves of garlic." Ya know that Trader Joe's jar of chopped garlic? (I don't use fresh b/c I HATE that smell on my fingers). I didn't read the jar because the print is really small and my reading glasses weren't nearby. My memory / "guesstimate" told me a tablespoon was about a clove. So I put in about 3-4 tablespoons, kinda rounded, not flat, cuz hey, what the heck, we like loud flavor. Once the soup was done, I tried it & thought it was beyond loudly flavored... I pulled the jar out of the fridge, put my glasses on and read it: 1 TEASPOON equals TWO to THREE cloves. The recipe calls for 4 cloves. Oops, I added the equivalent of 24 - 36 cloves!!   

I will certainly slumber with an sense of utter security knowing that just for today, I am very safe from vampires.

Later P.S. - The soup, when made according to the actual directions, is one of the most incredible culinary creations to enter our household. It became a staple. Everyone I have fed it to loves it. It's magical. And yes, I too have had it in the morning in a mug, just like Mel suggests. It makes me swoon.

Whole 30 Day 3

Another "good" day, not great, but no suffering at all.

I intended to go to bed by midnight so I can begin to shift to getting up earlier - oops, I think it was more like 1:00 am. Set alarm for 7 am, snoozed it until 8. Sluggish wake-up, slightly more sluggish than normal for me. I felt NO energy to be able to go to a gym class I wanted to take at 9:30.

Forced myself to go to a Barre class this afternoon. Great toning & it's 45 mins in Zone 2 cardio. I did pretty well, considering I'm a bit drained, which simply feels like "extra-relaxed." After class I felt DONE. Worked out and tired in a good way. Still managed to cook up a double-batch of that addictive chili, this time with bison and turkey meat. Recipe here:  The Freakishly Good & Easy-to-make Chili

Tonight I think the workout will drive me to a much earlier bedtime...

Whole30 Day 2 & Tricking Myself Into Working Out

Whole30 Day 2

Just a quick report of today's experience.

I slept for 12 HOURS. Then got up sluggish. Husband made eggs with veggies; thank you, husband. After coffee I felt more awake, the sluggish lifted a bit. Husband gave me 2 hours notice we were going to the gym... 4 hours later we arrived (I appreciate his patience & persistence on this one). He told me I didn't even have to work out, I could sit by the pool and read while he worked out. Well if I'm taking the trouble to GO, I might as well MOVE. So I put on workout clothes and told myself something was better than nothing. Allowed myself the treadmill, which isn't usually enough of a workout for me. But if I walked, I could read "It Starts With Food," which is the detailed, behind-the-curtain on the Whole30 cleanse/eating plan we are already committed to.

Before we left, I had part of a sweet potato with a little Sunbutter & a few bites of the INCREDIBLE chili, (thank you "The Clothes Make the Girl" blog). I offered some to Rob saying we should eat before working out; he ignored me (he regretted the decision later when hungry poolside and dreaming of pizza).

Impressively, I made it 1 hour on the treadmill, and actually got my heart rate into Zone 2 for 15 mins - fat burning zone - yay! By simply telling myself something was better than nothing and allowing myself to "take it easy," I actually did FAR more effort and time than I ever could have talked myself into before getting onto the thing!

Then out to the pool in the shade, we read in the dry, warm desert air with waterfall noises creating a wonderful sound screen against kids playing in the massive pool. We noted that the resort-like atmosphere at our gym is why we pay what we do, so lovely. As we left, the sun was going down. I thanked him for tricking me and dragging me to the gym, as I actually felt much better physically, mentally and emotionally.

When we got home, we had a very fulfilling dinner of the chili and steamed asparagus spears, then sipped herbal tea the rest of the night as we read.  GREAT DAY 2. Super grateful that before starting W30 we ate similarly but not as clean, as I know it's creating an easy ride compared to what many go through.

Whole30 Day 1: Ghee-Giddy to Up in Flames

Whole30 Day 1. No Jay Robb egg white protein powder spinach shake, sniffle. W30 wants us to eat WHOLE food, excluding meal shakes, although I make "clean" ones and they make my nutritional life easy.  Come on, Jen, suck it up - IT'S ONLY 30 DAYS.

We almost always cook with olive oil anyway, so today I "celebrated" the Whole30 kickoff by choosing to use ghee, a.k.a. clarified butter. I cooked the harder veggies in it first, then the eggs and mushrooms, with a fresh dollop of ghee in the pan for each round. A few oil-soaked sun-dried tomatoes at the end to top it off, and... oh dear. It was really OILY (Well, GHEE-EE, technically).

HA!  Lesson learned. We don't eat greasy food, so even "healthy" greasy isn't going to please us either. Well, that was fun to figure out!

Next lesson about to be delivered... I wanted to make theW30 compliant "Clothes Make the Girl" blog chili that everyone gushes about (MelJoulwan.com).  I realized I needed beef broth, so back out to the stores I went. Got more ghee, some more veggies, and that beef broth. Whole30 learning curve: turns out even most of the "healthy" brands of beef broth have a bunch of extra items in there one wouldn't expect, including sugars. Finally settled for the Whole Foods organic box, at least there was only one little vague reference to "spices" that leaves it unknown, which I'm christening "compliant."

As directed, I turned the big chili pot onto medium-high to let it heat before adding the oil. When I dropped the blob of coconut oil in, it immediately began to smoke heavily. I turned on the stove fan & then - a first in my cooking life - the pan actually burst into 2-foot FLAMES on my stove! I dragged the pot as far away from the microwave above it as possible but the flames were still licking upward, and now were free to reach toward my wooden cabinet door standing open above - I slammed it shut and jumped back. My white microwave was actually getting gray lines on it from upward smoke! I yelled "HELP!" to my husband as loud as possible. Which wasn't loud enough, apparently. When I realized he wasn't going to come rescue me, I decided to risk touching the pot handles to move the flaming cauldron into the middle of the kitchen floor, where there was nothing above it to catch on fire. Good move. Now, THINK!

I remembered the rule that you don't put an oil fire out with water. I knew it was best to spray it with a kitchen-type extinguisher, but ironically, the flaming pot was between me and the kitchen fire extinguisher under the sink. Second thought was to smother the flames, but a kitchen towel would just catch on fire. Setting a plate on it was my next thought, but AGAIN ironically, the flaming pot was between me and the plate cabinet. So I just stood there, watching it burn down, hoping the smoke alarm wouldn't go off, hoping the heat wouldn't crack my kitchen tile, but figuring it won't be too hard to replace a tile or two if need be. I turned the burner off - huh? Why was the burner on "HI"??? I know I put it at about 7.5...

My belated hero (husband) emerged from the back of the house bathroom just as the flames became very low and blue in the pot. "What's all the commotion?"  ARGH. I was so shaken I didn't respond well. So I just went outside and watered the plants to calm down. When I came back, he had opened the window, soaked the pot, and wiped off the grey lines on the microwave. Turns out the back of my husband's hand had accidentally bumped my burner knob to "HI" as he turned his burner on to heat water for tea - I know this because I SAW IT HAPPEN another tea round.

QUITE an adventurous Day 1. Sidenote: the chili is absolutely astoundingly delicious!

A Bloated Goodbye - Prepping for Whole30

Back in the USA again, probably somewhat hung over from daily poolside margaritas (albeit sugar-free with stevia only). For me this was like a 5-day binge, as although I didn't drink during the daytimes, I drank each evening. This 5-day vacation was a perfect way to kick off the next 30 days without alcohol; tequila and I had a nice long goodbye. I am happy to say that by the time I went through duty-free at the airport, the free tequila samples sounded AWFUL.

I knew upon getting home that my only assignment was to get to the grocery stores (plural) before they closed so I would be ready to hit it W30 Day 1 when I opened my eyes Saturday.

I also realized I'd better eat at least one thing that I will be formally saying goodbye to for 30 days. The only thing I could think of was Talenti Gelato Salted Caramel flavor. I don't really eat ice cream more than a few times a year, so this isn't a stretch to "give it up." But I didn't want to wake up tomorrow in regret - I just wanted SOMETHING decadent that would be forbidden within hours.

I took a digestive enzyme in preparation, settled into the couch with my pint and spoon while ironically browsing and bookmarking Whole30 recipes. Throughout an hour I ate about 80% of it before I just couldn't think of taking another bite. I threw the rest away down the sink, not wanting to see it in the morning trash. I noticed about 2 hours later that my tummy was truly BLOATED, like visibly bigger/rounder, puffier. Ugh. Perfect validation of why I'm doing Whole30, as I want to let my body rest from any effect such as this from food!

MY Whole30 Manifesto

Today I found the Whole9 Forum & posted my "New Member" bio. It was actually quite empowering to create this brief summary of where we are & why we are doing Whole30. It gave me a glimpse of why people consider me "really healthy" and knowledgeable about nutrition... and why I still want to keep raising the bar. Here it is:

I'm 45 years old, female, "healthy weight" according to "the tables," but I know I feel and look better at a lower body fat percentage. As an adult, I swing by about 20 pounds up & down the scale. I have good muscle built up & good cardio condition, but would really like to take it up a notch. I WISH I "loved" exercise; I don't, never have. But I've managed to stay active out of sheer "can't stand what happens when I don't." I have NO "out of bounds" health issues (all physical/biological test results of every type come out great) except one biggie:

I'm Type 1 (fully insulin-dependent) Diabetes for 31 years (since age 14), NO long-term symptoms present. (Although glucose levels have NOT been in tight control at all times, I am sure my stellar results are because I addressed the emotional patterning behind physical illness within a few years of diagnosis - see info by Louise Hay). I apparently arrested development too late to "grow back" the insulin factory that was destroyed, but no "expected" progression as western medical docs assume and warn. Having T1 has been a "blessing in disguise," because otherwise I would have been eating "healthy" Standard American Diet ("we don't eat fast food or white bread!") like my parents did, with the same poor results, not understanding why. But thanks to the T1 diabetes, unlike everyone else, I have been reading ALL labels since I was 14 and SEEING what happens to my blood sugar levels after eating items. Because my body doesn't kick in insulin to cover anything I eat (I manually put it in myself), I have decades of experience knowing how much or how little insulin is required to bring levels in my blood stream back to normal range, I have seen what acute stress does (spikes insulin for no "food" reason!), what moderate exercise does (brings b.s. down), etc.

We are winding down W30 Day 2. Bought the book "It Starts With Food" a few hours ago, already in Chapter 8. GENIUS in it's simplicity, "plain English," THANK YOU.

I'm going to summarize where I'm/we're (husband) at for my own records, I guess....

Before W30 we were eating primarily organic, proteins, veggies, limited fruit, almost no starches at home. We don't have bread, crackers, rice, pasta etc. as part of our home diet. Also don't use sugar, but definitely love to use stevia & a little agave at times. The only soda we drink, & in very limited amounts, is stevia-sweetened, beverages are water, organic coffee, herbal iced tea. No juice in the house. Dairy: We were eating cottage cheese & unsweetened Greek yogurt, hard & feta cheese. Breakfast for 5 months was always a protein shake using Jay Robb egg white PRO powder (clean & non-GMO but added stevia), organic spinach, ginger, cinnamon, organic coffee, unsweetened cocoa & a scoop of Greens First. We were drinking alcohol, mainly red wine, sometimes margaritas when out for Mexican. Just recently we found we really like dark, craft beers - uh oh!! (liquid bread). 

Biggest downfall was eating out... For ex, we LOVE Mexican. If I didn't know better, I might want corn chips, salsa & high-quality margaritas as a staple diet. Would still make "smart" choices at restaurants, (fajitas, for ex) as I just don't like feeling tired and crappy from bread/pasta/wheat tortillas, etc, but certainly much more lax on our intake than we are at home. We vacation a lot, we LOVE good-quality, delicious food, so that's where this W30 comes into play as being a very good "reset."

I think it will make a HUGE difference for my husband who has some very classic health challenges for his 61 years of age - he's only been addressing his diet since we met 6 years ago. Since then he's done a few cleanses, learned about nutrition, learned to enjoy healthier choices, etc - basically steered away from S.A.D. (the Standard American Diet). His cravings have decreased greatly, but he still struggles & has many of the classic symptoms from the book.

I'm excited to once again RAISE THE BAR on our lives!

"I'll Have Photos Taken When I'm _____"

I know right now I'm guilty of this -Uh oh - I just realized my husband has been asking for the purse shots for THREE-POINT-FIVE YEARS. He bought me a beautiful triangle-shaped purse on a vacation in Italy that would be a fantastic photo prop strategically and tastefully placed to block TMI. When I see the purse, I feel guilty and a little sad, it's actually an awesome idea for a photo shoot. But since it involves just me "in the raw" and only a purse for coverage, I'm waiting until until I look _____ (fill in roving excuse: more thin, in better shape, more tan, etc). Ironically, at the time we bought the purse, I was about 12 pounds thinner & I look at photos from that trip and I realize I looked GREAT. (Dammit, why didn't I do it then?!) Well waiting to look younger isn't really an option, so I'd better suck it up and do the shoot ASAP!

I think the blog entry linked to here is a PERFECT injection of balanced sanity regarding our opinion of ourselves; it speaks perfectly to the heart of DefensiveDressing.com.

Taken from the About section of her website, myfriendteresablog.com, here's a little about the author: 

"Teresa is a portrait photographer from Cary, NC specializing in family, baby, and senior portrait photography. Her work has been recognized by Rolling Stone Magazine and published on The Huffington Post. Her blog post "So You're Feeling Too Fat to be Photographed" has reached over 3 million people (and counting!)."

Well Teresa, make me # 3 million and counting plus 1 more, and THANK YOU.

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/